Who Would Watch 'Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief'?

Woah, did you realise that "& the Olympians" was in the title? So bold.

It's Greek Month. Everyone is watching The Odyssey, so fuck it!

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief is about a plucky kid who's framed for stealing Zeus' Lightning Bolt and has to go through a bunch of nonsense to clear his name.

Oscar and Carl watch the first in a series of two to figure out who would watch this.

If you have any questions or requests, send them to askwwwtpodcast@gmail.com

Find us through:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@whowouldwatchthis

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whowouldwatchthis/

TikTok: @podcastwhowouldwatchthis

Letterboxd:

Carl: https://letterboxd.com/carlllllllllll1/
Oscar: https://letterboxd.com/oscarfart/

More links: https://linktr.ee/whowouldwatchthis  

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

My name is Oscar.

SPEAKER_01 0:02

My name is Carl. And this is Who Would Watch This?

SPEAKER_02 0:05

Welcome to Who Would Watch This, the podcast where we watch a film, we chat about the film, and then we try and figure out who would watch this.

SPEAKER_01 0:11

Today we're talking about Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief, which currently has a 5.9 on IMDB, a 48% on Rotten Tomatoes, and a 2.8 on Letterboxd. Oscar, what's the plot?

SPEAKER_02 0:21

A troubled teen discovers he is the son of Poseidon and sets out with his friends to recover Zeus's stolen lightning bolt before a war among the gods erupt. Yeah. That's real good. It's good stuff.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Now look, if you'll listen to last week's episode, yes, we're doing Percy Jackson again. Yeah. It's the first time we've done the same episode twice. Yeah, we apart from every Christmas.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Every Christmas. That's a different thing. That's a different film. I think we have rules and regulations. There is a faint memory that you have of doing Percy Jackson already. I I've played taken a I'm freaking I've taken the Lotus Flowers. I'm trying to think of the one forget me one. I don't think there is one. I guess I've taken a Roofy. I've taken a Roofy. Very Greek. Yeah, very Greek. Very Greek. Uh, Carl, should we go back to last week before we had re-watched the Percy Jackson?

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Oh, when we were trying to figure out who we thought would watch it.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

Yes, yes, you read my mind.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Oscar. Yes, sir. We're going to commit to doing both Percy Jackson films. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

It's brave of us, you know. Many people haven't ventured out to do that. Yeah. Except for literally everyone on Letterboxd that is hungry for just like, I just saw the Odyssey. Is there any other film that can it turns out no, which is kind of crazy, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:33

I would love Greek mythology to turn into the new like superhero genre or the Western or something, where they just go, we're gonna adapt all of those stories.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

I mean, they're all good. Yes, they are all sick. They're all sick.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Yeah. Um, so I'd be happy for that to happen. But Oscar, you're the big Percy Jackson fan when it comes to the books.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

You could tell by my by my tattoos, my various tattoos, uh, Percy Jackson or something.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Percy, it's all over you. Yeah. But like the Sam Worthington one. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

Um, I loved the books as a child. I was like, this Harry Potter shit ain't for me. I'm a Rick Rorden fella. Uh and I I remember distinctly bringing them around, and the and the bully in the year above was like, You reading those Percy Jackson books? And I was like, how embarrassing. Hid away. And then he had a beautiful moment where the next day went, No, but I'm reading them as well. They're great. And I had this emotional bond of like, wow, sometimes the mean guys read. And that's a good lesson to take into your everyday life, I think. But no, I love Percy Jackson.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Did you finish the series?

SPEAKER_02 2:37

Or did you read so I read uh I think there was five when I was a child, and then I looked on Goodreads the other day, and they were like, There's a lot more now. Oof. Um, because my uh brother-in-law was like, Did you read the there's a new one that came out? I think there's a lot happening. In my mind spin-offs and everything spin-offs, I think there's new things, I'm scared. You know, I haven't gone back. But in my mind, there were five ones and they were pretty good and it ended fun. Uh so yeah, no, keen uh to rewatch as well.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

I remember Del Torah family. So we did all of those.

SPEAKER_02 3:09

The hell does that even the owl? The owl?

SPEAKER_01 3:12

You know all of the the Del Tora quests?

SPEAKER_02 3:14

No, never.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

I'm thinking Have you never read a Deltura quest? Let me look it up. I'm they have all the great covers.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

You looking like a Zach Powers?

SPEAKER_01 3:21

It was all of all of these covers. Did you ever read these? Oh!

SPEAKER_02 3:27

They were sick. They would look sick. I remember in the library just looking at the covers. Didn't read them for a second. They reminded me of Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. I just remember them being sick. What um what was their gist? What was their thing?

SPEAKER_01 3:37

Oh, they were just the best. Couldn't even give me a log lamp. Just euphoric. Just how good were they?

SPEAKER_02 3:45

It was a needle and heroin and just in a book form, but god, it was good and it was cheap.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

Every single one of them just like came with came with a like a shoot-em up in the middle of it. Just just a just a I don't know, I can't even pretend to know how to shoot Coke or meth.

SPEAKER_02 4:01

You do a big eight ball, it's a heroin cocaine explosion.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

Each one of them had a spoon and a match in the side.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

Um, but yeah, no, I was a big Bose Jackson fan. I remember going out to see this in cinemas and like me uh tutting, going, that's not very good. That's not very good. And then I got burnt and went and saw Sea of Monsters, and that wasn't very good either. And then I feel like we as a group have almost had a bit of just putting on Sea of Monsters almost as a punishment. It's like we're watching Sea of Monsters sit down.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

Well, we watched the second half of it in Vietnam from memory. Yes. On like a day when I think all of us were maybe just taking turns going to the bathroom. Yeah. Shit, pissing and vomiting. And then we watched the movie No, but gone. Yeah. Um, yeah, so that's my main memory of it. And then I've seen this I think when it came to DVD after in cinemas, and then I must have watched it again when the show was coming out. Yeah. And then we I don't know when we reviewed it, but somewhere around that we reviewed it originally.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

I've not seen the show. I was also kind of like, that looks fun, and dare I say, I think it has going it's gonna be the similar fate for Harry Potter. It just feels like not the right format for it. Uh what is have you seen the show?

SPEAKER_01 5:24

I've seen half of the first season, yeah, and it was not great for me, at least. I think it was I'm sure it's good, I think, if you're actually on the younger side of things.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

Yeah, I think you'd be like, Is it just more like uh focused to kids? I reckon. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

But then I don't know, maybe it's gonna get darker and it'll just age up with them. Yeah. So who knows?

SPEAKER_02 5:43

You need Alfonso Carlon to really transition into that.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

Yeah, and I think we'll talk about it, but from memory with both adaptations, like I just personally have a disconnect from I think the world that they want to build. Yeah, gotcha. So I'm keen to see what that's like, but I haven't watched a piece of Percy Jackson content in a year.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

Carl, who watched this?

SPEAKER_01 6:06

Um God, it's gotta be for fans of Logan Lerman. This is his everybody loved Logan Lerman back in the day. I know, right?

SPEAKER_02 6:15

Where where has he gone? What was he in the recent was he in bullet train? I feel like he dies early in bullets train. That's right. And I just feel like he's I guess who's the guy who's now um the Wolfgeman um uh in the new uh Oh Aaron Taylor Johnson. I feel like I feel like there's like six of them. Yeah, I feel like Aaron Taylor Johnson's taken the rein. I think he's now the main one, and I feel like Logan Lerman's like a C raise of that sort of triangle.

SPEAKER_01 6:41

Well, I always get Logan Lerman confused with Dylan O'Brien. Yes. I find those two are quite interchangeable. Yes. And so I feel like they must just see each other at every audition.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

I assume so. And I feel like I honestly seeing Twinless now, I feel like Dylan Bryan's broken out of that um mold. I'm like, no, I know him from Twinless.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

Yes, he's the twinless one, but he the but Logan's always gonna have Percy Jackson. Totally. Totally. Like, I think there's a nostalgia play for Percy Jackson now, which I think is crazy because I don't think it's good.

SPEAKER_02 7:10

Isn't it nice that just dog shit is just I guess that's just always been a thing, you know? You hear like some people that are like in their mid-30s be like, remember this, you're like, shut up.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

It's nuts that must always come. My parents were like, Do you want us to keep your like Twilight books you have? And I said, I don't know. One, I'm never gonna read them again. Uh but two, I think they're gonna be remembered fondly now. Yeah. So maybe keep them because I have all of the original ones from as they were coming out, so I don't know if this is gonna be like a Harry Potter moment where they go, Wow, first edition Twilight releases, yeah, I'll pay a grand for them.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

My dad had one of the first copies of The Philosopher Stone and gave it away like years ago, and then they found out like it was worth like 10 grand. Hurts, hurts, it hurts. Percy Jackson, the first one, the lightning thief, who would watch it. Carl, you've said Logan Luhrman, look, I'm now looking at the cast and crew. Uh Sean Bean. Huge. I feel like he had a big moment, and I just I was like, you're a here to stay. And I've not seen him in anything for a while. Is he like in doing Walmart movies?

SPEAKER_01 8:19

I feel like he probably got a good after his first season of Game of Thrones. Yeah. Probably just yeeted out of there and took anything, you know, that came his way. Yeah, no. You've got to you've got to buy, you've got to make that meal ticket. Yeah. I don't remember him in pixels. Crazy he's in pixels.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

I can't remember. Is he a voice in pixels? Have we done pixels for the podcast? And we're not gonna do it. And I've watched pixels a few times, which is very annoying. You love pixels. Yeah, it's funny.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

Haven't you given it a three and a half? You've given it a one and a half. I've given it a three and a half. You've not given it a half. No, but I've given it a two. Alright, that's last week.

SPEAKER_02 8:53

That's last week. It's Greek and Mavology. It's Greek, it's great. It's fine.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

It's great, it's Greek, it's great. Wow. Big realization for me, Oscar. I'd never have finished this film.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

Whoa.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

So I was mind was blown.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

I'd never I understand. So wait, you walked into Sea of Monsters not knowing where this freaking lightning thief had come from.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

I'm so excited about this because I've only seen the second half of Sea of Monsters, and it turns out the first half of Lightning.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

So you smushed these two together to make one complete film. But really, there's two. You've missed the middle. The middle. You've missed the big middle. And dare I'd say it's definitely the weakest part of the whole thing.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

Also, yeah, I've I've I never saw them meet Hades.

SPEAKER_02 9:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

At like at the end of this. Never never seen any of that. Wow. I was I got jump scared when Steve Coogan was Hades.

SPEAKER_02 9:46

Pretty crazy. Yeah, this great miscast. Oh, it's it's miscast entirely, but I I did fear for a hot second it was Russell Brand. I did I go, is that Russ? No, Steve Coogan doing a bit of a having a fun. Doing Russell Brandon. Yeah. Um, that's huge for you. That's crazy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Wow. Um, and I can't wait to talk about it, but I thought it was the best part of the film. The Steve Coogan, the Hades, or just the end? Just just the whole, just like the last 20 minutes. I was like, oh, I love this. This is a section I enjoy.

SPEAKER_02 10:16

Yeah, it's a bold one because essentially the start goes, we're going to run through this film so we can get to it. And by the time you like you've broken your neck, you're like, I don't think I like these freaks, you know? I don't think I'm on the side.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

It's just shy two hours long, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's there's good they've got too much to do. Cut cut something in here. Uh but yeah, look, we can get into it. Let's begin. Yep. We start, we get big Poseidon.

SPEAKER_02 10:43

Big Poseidon.

SPEAKER_01 10:43

Big Poseidon. And these gods, I don't care who sees. They'll just go around. They'll do whatever.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

I would like to, and again, I have read the book, but I don't remember any of the rules. So we're just gonna do movie rules. It does seem a bit coy of like, is it like a muggle world? I can't remember. I don't think it is. I think it's just sort of you know go nuts. They're definitely trying to hide it, but not as much as like wizards.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

Do you remember as to why everything's in America?

SPEAKER_02 11:09

That is uh I I feel like uh in in in just in terms of like landmarks and stuff like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

Or like why is everything like why why is all of Greek mythology centered around American landmarks?

SPEAKER_02 11:22

It felt very natural. Uh and now we are saying it, and you know what? Like you you have the Hollywood sign, that's not gonna last forever. It's some sheet metal, you know? It's not a big thing, you know. What if the Twin Towers was gonna be the Hades, you know? You couldn't do that.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

Well, they were like they hopped in the elevator to go to Olympus, and it's just that one elevator in New York. Well, that 100%.

SPEAKER_02 11:43

And also the Empire State Building was at one point the largest tower. Now it's not. No, now it's now so it's a bit embarrassing with Olympus for being what the 15th highest building. They've got to move. They've got to move.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

They like we have to spice it.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

One World Trade Center. We're gonna pop to the top. Um, yeah, no, I don't know why it's all America. It felt a lot more uh better in the books, you know. I can't remember, I can't remember it's globetrotting. I guess does Australia get a little shout out, you know? Are they in Switzerland for a bit?

SPEAKER_01 12:08

Yeah, I don't it's like is every book just in America? I think so, yeah. Wow. Crazy they just took Greek cult like Greek mythology. I want to get it all in America.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

I want to give them props and say like it it it changes places, but I don't think I can stand by that.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

I've gotta tell you, I think one of the big things that was keeping me at arm's length with this movie is how American it all is. Yeah. And I just that didn't, I think, gel with me.

SPEAKER_02 12:33

It is because it is Chris Columbus, and I I think unfortunately, it immediately gets Harry Potter uh comparisons.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

How could it not?

SPEAKER_02 12:42

It's the guy that did Harry Potter doing another Harry Potter like a lot of and I feel like the the books separate themselves enough because they're gonna go, no, we're doing we're it's almost like a teach you Greek mythology for but not baby, like just sort of into this world. That's why it feels very different. Whereas this one goes, no no no, there's a secret world, there's powers, and that's that. And it just doesn't really feel it feels like they're just dumping exposition for literally the entire film. Oh my god. To the point that you get no chemistry, and then you kind of look back at that first Harry Potter go, man, they just sort of go, we're gonna chill for a bit with the other three, you know?

SPEAKER_01 13:19

Well you get to know all of the teachers and everything because the teachers are a part of the third act, yeah, like what they've done. So it's an easy way for just like that entire first movie set, the mystery set at Hogwarts essentially, I think to just set up everything, get you involved in the world, and then adventures slowly come out of that world. Yeah. This is very much just a road trip film where every single scene you learn something new. Yeah. So you don't get to be thrilled. Yeah. You're always getting exposition, and new monsters always being set up. Yeah. And then they always defeated, like, within like the seven-minute scene. Yeah, we just go on.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

The bones of it is just like he is mum gets trapped, uh kidnapped, he goes to the camp to essentially get set up the the journey. He gets to kill three monsters, goes to hell, uh, saves the day. Yeah. And it's just a bit like I I know that's how the book's laid out, but you just need a bit more. It feels like we're gonna we're on a roller coaster track just getting to a chip da, getting these six points sixty six done. Yeah. And it just feels so I I don't know. I don't know what that like the genetic are of just like the uh you need a little something just to I think it needs to be longer, unfortunately. Like it needs that extra like that first one's like a first one's like two hours 40.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

Yeah. This could do with an extra 40 minutes if it meant it was just gonna take its time and have a breath a little.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

I just think the chemistry between these three is dog shit. Who's put the guy playing Grover? We've got Grover, who's essentially uh a Sater, yeah, uh, and Percy Jackson's um looker after her. Yeah. Uh we've got what's her name? It's Alexandria Dodario. Yeah, she's sort of um again, the the love interest, but it's a lot more of a will they won't they for the five books. Oh my god. It's a slow burn for the ages, Carl. My god, and then Percy Jackson herself, and I I don't think Grover's giving everything, they're giving him nothing. Yeah, and it's really unfortunate because I do think Grover is genuinely like giving a bit of fun.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

He's got great energy in the movie, and yet I think because he's surrounded by two really dull performances, he then feels like he's doing too much. Yes, yeah, when yet I do feel like he's doing the right amount, I think. But it just feels highlighted.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

It feels so it feels so lame because no one's giving him anything else. You're just like, oh man, that sucks, you know.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

Yeah, and so let I think let's talk about it then. I think Logan Lehrmann completely miscast. Uh same with Alexandria Di Dario. Yeah. I think those I think those two just don't suit these roles that are given to them. No. Um I I like Logan Lerman in things. He's good in pokes for being a wallflower and all that, but here I think he's struggling. Yeah. Um less.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

He's also young as well. I think he's like 17, with I think at least Harry Potter had a bit like this might not work. Whereas this is gonna be the next Harry Potter. You're a bit like fucking hell, you know. And she's like 25. It's an odd age. Like if this kept going on, she would have been 30 by the end, which is yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:15

I wonder how much grace you could give to this movie if it did feel more like teenagers were doing it. Yeah. If they really did feel I don't know, how old are they meant to be in the book? Like 16 or less. I think 14. I remember 14. Well, I guess they're quite young in the show. I think, and you know what? In the show, I think those kids sell it a little bit more. Yeah, those those three probably have a bit more chemistry than they used to do. Yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

So I rem I remember the the three being quite fun. In this one, it feels like Grover's almost just like I've I've been assigned you to be your friend, and now I'm on the clock. Uh it feels a bit like what is his relationship? He's gotta get the horns.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

Yeah, he's gotta get the horns, Oscar. And at the end he gets the horns. He wrote them all. You want the you want the Grover, you get the horns. Uh we get introduced to uh Sean Bean, who's Zeus. Yep. Uh, and we've got the guy from Grey's Anatomy who is Poseidon. Yes, yes. Uh, did your partner watch this with you? Uh she did, yeah, yeah, yeah. Was she absolutely enthralled by the fact it was the guy from Grey's Anatomy?

SPEAKER_02 17:15

You know what? It wasn't even mentioned once. Because I think he, you are right. I can't remember what his character is. He's uh he's a later edition in Grey's Anatomy. Um, but it wasn't a wow factor, unfortunately. Really? Yeah. Wow. There was no love. We've got no fanfare for this man, you know? None? And I looked him up and I was like, ah man, I've seen you in everything, and yeah, I could not tell you his name.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

He must have been excited to be like, I'm gonna be the new Alan Rickman. That's gonna be me. I'm gonna be the new Rickman. I'm gonna be the new Rickman in every home.

SPEAKER_02 17:44

No, no, no, no, no, no. Now, is Zeus the villain in the Well, that's and I think this is I do remember this very much in the books, and I feel like it's also the same in Greek mythology, and the stuff that I love the most is quite frankly, the gods don't give a shit. Yeah, they're they're cunts. They don't give a shit. Pack a cunts, and I do remember the ending kind of being kind of almost a cosmic joke of them being like, thanks, lightning bolt back, fuck off, essentially. He's like, but you're my dad. He's like, I don't give a fuck. Yeah. Uh so Zeus, I guess, in the grand scheme of he's not really the villain, I'd say. But he's very ambivalent. Is there a big bad to the to the series? No, that's that's why I could that's why I was like, what is the through line of this? I think it's him. I can't remember. I remember the second one, it's um he's t teamed up with the Cyclops to do something. I can't remember, I think there is something.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Yeah, and the lightning thief is back in the second one. He's back. Yes. I remember him in the third act at least.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

You know, maybe I'm vaguely remembering. I feel like the uh is it the Titans come back?

SPEAKER_01 18:43

Ah, the oh yeah, the ones that the old the pre-Gards.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

I feel like that might be the big bad. Yeah, okay. Um, if I remember correctly. Yeah. But yeah, no, so no, no big bad. Zeus and stuff are not. They're sort of treated as essentially just like we don't give a fuck, fuck you. Yeah, it's quite fun, you know?

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Yeah, and so we also get uh Joe Pantaliono or Joe Pantaliono.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

God loved him. I always love him. He's so much fun, consistently.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

He's only ever asked to do him, and he always nails it.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

He's so I watched Bound again the other day. Fuck it's good, but you know what? I was also watching The Fugitive, and he's just like um just a side cop. Yeah, and he's kind of nailing it, you know? Really good stuff.

SPEAKER_01 19:27

He's great when he's a cop. Yeah. He's a really good cop and things. Um, does he pay off? Because it was weird he gets a moment where he goes, uh Percy Jackson has kidnapped his mum. And I wasn't sure if that was meant to have a payoff.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

The payoff was that she was at the end and went, I dumped his ass. Not good.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

Yeah, not enough to go, we've got a juicy role for Joey Pants.

SPEAKER_02 19:51

Yeah, it does upset. It is very upsetting. I don't think he comes back. He's kind of he's kind of the the sort of boring, uh bad to defeat.

SPEAKER_01 19:58

Right. I thought maybe he was being set up for a sequel where he does.

SPEAKER_02 20:02

He's got a spin-off, you know, Deadbeat Dad, you know. It's like the Greek mythology, but like just what happens to the daily life of a shitbeat dad.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

A Disney Plus show, I want to say.

SPEAKER_02 20:12

Thank God. They're like, look, all the spin-offs of the Marvel things was wrong, but when we spun off Percy Jackson, people came.

SPEAKER_01 20:19

Deadbeat Dad is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

Um, but yeah, no, he's great. The mum is also given nothing.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

Okay, so poor poor Catherine Keener, who I also think I think is nominated for an Oscar, has been nominated for an Oscar. I can't remember what for, but either way, she's not good here either. No. She has to do a lot of uh miming when she goes, I can't get past the wall. There's a wall here, and I can't get past it because I'm not a god like you.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

It feels cruel that like she saw the MacGuffin, just like we gotta get her back.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:52

And I don't know why. I think she might be not filmed on any real set for anything for some just by coincidence, and it all looks horrible and constantly, as you'll say, just like, please, Percy, you gotta save me. She's got no chemistry as well with her own son. Like, it's just not what I'm saying. I thought her and Joe had it a lot, even though he was a shit beat and a bit of a cunt.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

I felt a bit of energy there that worked. She was like, get he was like, get that saucy ass over here and get me a beer. And she was like, I'll walk it over to you. And Logan Herman said, can you not do it in front of me? And they were they both sort of shot a look that said, no, this is our love language.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

This is hot. This is really hot. Stay, Logan, stay.

SPEAKER_01 21:30

There is an adult edge to the movie that I don't think they know what to do with Tony. Because the conceit is Where's your edge? Where'd your water edge? Well, I mean, because I think the gods have produced all these demi gods because they've come to Earth and they've fucked all these people. Yes. And they I don't think know how to handle that because I think they want to cultivate a new Harry Potter. Yet they've got sort of we've got an abusive dad, and we've You can see they've got these elements that they don't really know how to handle.

SPEAKER_02 21:59

Yeah. Uh you're a hundred percent. You're just like, man, because I feel like one of the bits is that uh the guy, the actual lightning thief's uh house, because each um at the camp, essentially all the gods have the specific house. So the Poseidon his shitty ransacked Poseidon one, if he had more Poseidon kids, they would all live there. Right. I just remember that the Lightning Thief's bunk is filled to the brim because he's a little whore. So essentially he's just got like it's like 90 kids are from like the the gods are kind of fucked up. That's great, really cheeky. Yeah, yeah. But some some are like some gods are a lot more like no no no, I'll I'll only have like two or one, you know.

SPEAKER_01 22:37

And I think if the movie had said we're just gonna be M, just straight up we're just gonna be an M-rated movie, it feels very PG, feels that they are, which I just don't think suits the material that they're trying to make.

SPEAKER_02 22:49

Yeah, it can be edgy because you are right, they're just getting dicked down and then they're getting left there, and then being like, I'm not looking after you, but you can run around because it's just gods don't care, and then these demi gods are sort of like, Well, I've got a lot of power and a lot of angst, so we're gonna go to camp.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

Uh now I've we've local does something crazy to me, which is uh they go to a museum with Piers Brosnan.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

Uh we didn't even talk about Piers Brosnan. Now he is half a horse. Um, I and I was kind of like, Man, how could James Bond sink so low? And then I kind of looked at Piers Brosnan's career, and honestly, if it wasn't for Mama Mia, I don't think he'd be loved.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

He's not even in like a great crop of Bond movies. Yeah, he's only got one good Bond film. Yeah, and then I think his most memorable ones, the the really campy, crappy one. Yeah, we did on the podcast, I found out.

SPEAKER_02 23:42

Um, yeah, no, he's he's crazy. So there, in that case, I felt he was right for this role. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

It was good. I mean, I love seeing a movie where they can only afford half an actor.

SPEAKER_02 23:53

Look, the legs of Pierce are where the money is.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

He straight up said, Oh, I get to sit for a lot of the human scenes, and then I'm just superimposed in the other ones. Perfect. Perfect, perfect.

SPEAKER_02 24:06

Next I've got Merrill Streep on an island. So this is a pretty good year for me, honestly. Things are going pretty well.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

Yeah, he was you can shoot this all at the same time. I'm really high on Grease at the moment. Uh but Logan uh Percy does something which I just thought was crazy. Yeah. When they're doing the tour, he puts headphones on and stands at the front of the class. Bold. Of course, you're gonna get picked on by the teacher. Yeah, go to the back, yeah, blend in. Yeah, this guy does not know how to check out.

SPEAKER_02 24:36

I feel like teachers understand that a kid at the back, they don't want to be there, you know? And some dickhead teachers might be like, call on you, but if you're front and center with headphones, I mean you're just asking for it.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

You are asking to be good, asking to be called out. Yeah. And you know, he's already a bad student as well. He's also got weird dyslexia. He's got dyslexia, and I feel like they have like an ADHD line that he keeps saying it. He keeps going, I've got dyslexia and ADHD in sentences that don't suit what they're talking about.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

I think it's changed as well. I feel like the uh the the conversation around it is very much just like, yeah, we're all kids have it, and that's fine. We're not, we're we've we've got we've got pills, it's all good.

SPEAKER_01 25:13

He doesn't touch a device the whole movie. Yeah, he just definitely hasn't got it. He's not as addicted as us. Yeah, he doesn't have a switch. What the hell? What the hell? Uh we get our big reveal that one of the teachers is indeed a mythical god. Yes. Or I guess a big Batwoman.

SPEAKER_02 25:26

Big Batwoman. That's the correct term. That's the correct term.

SPEAKER_01 25:29

I do love him saying, How'd you get up there? What's going on? None of this scene plays well. I think it's blocked poorly.

SPEAKER_02 25:36

It's blocked incredibly poorly, and I do think they're using the same big hole for like three of the scenes. I think this one, I think uh one that when they fight the Hydra. Yeah. I think they're just reusing this big Greek column thing, and they're like, and it just feels. I just don't know why wire work was like they this will work for this, you know. This is what one practical thing. It doesn't look, it's just lame, you know.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

They've got they've absolutely committed to a lot of wire work, and I don't know why. I don't know why they've gone, oh, we'll have lots of wire work and this.

SPEAKER_02 26:09

I don't even remember flying being that big of a thing, really, in the whole thing. It just also feels like they are running through it, like they are sprinting through this. Like at no point did I think, what is this world? You know, it's it's very much like we're four minutes in and the got and the teacher's already done that. Yeah like I don't think like he's got like a shitty life. I feel like Harry Potter, they spend ages with him having the worst life ever. I'm like, God, if he's not magic, he's killing himself. Thank God. In this life, I'm like, I don't know. It's I think you could give it a moment, you know.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

I think what's what's fun in Harry Potter is that they they go into how a wizard lives. Like there's a mundanity and an enjoyment of being on the train and having like the candy lady and a kid buying all the possible candy there is, and it's all magic candy. Or they go into the hall and they have a great feast. When he eventually gets to this camp, it's a shithole. Yeah, it's camping forever. Horrible. Absolutely horrible.

SPEAKER_02 27:07

It's crazy that the wooden huts are all open plan and no walls. I'd be furious.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

He goes, where do I poo? And they're like, everywhere's the shitter. Everywhere's the shitter when you're a god person. You're a demigod.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

You can shit, and you have water power, so you can just it's like a bidet, it's like a big bidet.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

Watch it.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

Thank God you're here, per uh beside you've got to plump it all away. There's been no plumbing. The god of wine's been having to use his fucking thing to Pinot Noir does not go in a in a bidet. It's horrid, it's fucking horrid.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

Welcome to the team, Percy. Huzzah!

SPEAKER_02 27:47

Thank God. You're on pipes. Pipes. Honestly, your big quest is pipes, you know? That's your big bad. Let me try to unclog them, you know. Yeah. You've just got to get this place to not stink. I will, and again, I just don't also. I feel like the through line is like, I thought it'd be him like learning his powers, but no, I feel like he's got water powers downpacked immediately.

SPEAKER_01 28:08

He just sort of gets his powers when the plot sees fit.

SPEAKER_02 28:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

They go, you here you should have them. Yeah. And he goes, Great. Yeah. Great, I'll use the plot.

SPEAKER_02 28:16

He never goes, he never goes, ooh, can I? He has them. Yeah. Great. It's perfect.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

Yeah. And I so why so at the beginning of the movie we're told somebody has stolen Zeus's lighting box. Yes. And they assume it's Percy because I think he leaves a note or something that's like, Percy did this. And why does Luke know Percy exists?

SPEAKER_02 28:37

Um you know, through the grapevine, you know. Right, okay.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

Through the Great Vine. Because it seems he knows to frame it on Percy. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 28:47

Which I think is I think if I remember correctly, um Percy in this world, so the three major gods have almost sworn like we're not having kids because our ones are too powerful, essentially. Yeah, okay. Because they're the one that gets powers. Like Hades would get powers, Zeus would get powers, Poseidon. But the other gods are all like whores, you know, harlots, you know. Um so they're like, nope, we can't do that. But then I think word gets out that uh Percy is born.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Is it because Percy's not claimed? What do you mean? Well, I I think because that he's not um he's not like a registered demigod almost that they go he's the only one that isn't registered, it could be.

SPEAKER_02 29:26

I think because he is um Poseidon's, yeah, yeah. And that's and that's like because those three gods are way more powerful than the other ones. Yeah, okay. So that's the only way you would make it in fighting sort of happen.

SPEAKER_01 29:37

Yeah. And so Zeus doesn't have any kids here?

SPEAKER_02 29:40

No, I can't, I don't think Zeus has any. I mean, I think Hercules is like um his is a demigod.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

Does Hercules ever come into the books?

SPEAKER_02 29:48

I can't I think so, yeah. But I think more as like, I think I can't remember. It's quite fun. It's like I feel like the story of like some stuff has already happened and some hasn't. Yeah, okay. I feel like Hercules does pop up. But that is good for Hercules. Big, big, big, big win, big win.

SPEAKER_01 30:01

So he finds out he's a demigod. We get a really quick uh chase. Grover beats the shit out of Joey Pantaleone.

SPEAKER_02 30:07

Destroys him.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

Yeah, absolutely destroys him. Um a cow tips a car, which I was unsure would happen.

SPEAKER_02 30:13

Yeah, I don't. I this was an odd scene. I feel like Grover would go, watch out, and then a cow comes flying. Yeah, it's odd. I I I'm crazy the minotaur threw a cow. Yeah. Which feels a bit like cow-on-cow violence. You'd think it'd be a bit of respect, you know. It's like me grabbing like a like a small woman and just throwing her. That's absolutely that's rude.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

But I would never do it. I'd throw something else. You know, I'd throw a cow. Yeah. I'd or calf. I'd throw a calf. You'd throw a calf. But I wouldn't throw a baby, you know what I mean? That feels incredibly rude.

SPEAKER_02 30:41

You know what? You're absolutely right, because that's just not on. It's not on. Yeah. The minotaur I know has like morals, but like should pack it in, you know. I know you're on a mission, but you know, there's rules. Yeah. There's rules.

SPEAKER_01 30:52

Well, Hades is like, I saved your mum from being killed by uh that minotaur.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

Do you save us cows? No.

SPEAKER_01 30:58

No.

SPEAKER_02 30:59

I couldn't remember. I I don't think cows go to heaven. Hell.

SPEAKER_00 31:03

No.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

No. They don't go to heaven either. Could you imagine getting to heaven? There's a shit ton of cows there. How horrible.

SPEAKER_02 31:09

I think the mephane alone would be horrible, you know.

SPEAKER_01 31:12

Like I always hated the idea of all dogs go to heaven because they shouldn't all be there. Yeah, no, 100%.

SPEAKER_02 31:17

Some are bad. Some are bad. Absolutely. Some bite faces off, you know? Some are guard dogs, you know. They're evil.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

I just think heaven's a shit show if everybody's up there. 100%. There's gotta be tears. Yeah. There's gotta be a whole economy to heaven, surely.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

You need to like I'm happy for like the B tier, you know. I think that's where I'm at. Like, I'm not like a full Netflix subscriber, you know, like that tier, but I'm definitely like the lowest, you know, with ads. With heaven with ads. Yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:44

They go, wouldn't it be nice to have wings? And you go, oh, I sometimes pay to have wings. Yeah. Yeah, that that's uh we save up a little to have wings. I like wings.

SPEAKER_02 31:53

I think there's immediately a class system. It's good, it's good class over it comes into heaven. It's nice. It's nice.

SPEAKER_01 31:59

Well, it's nice they got in as like because I'm not a big believer. So it's just good, it's great to be nominated. Yeah, yeah. It's just good. Oh, bro, you're not making up there. Yeah, no, yeah. Lucky with limbo. Yep, yep, skirting around like the eighth ring of hell.

SPEAKER_02 32:13

Yeah. Uh no, the mum is crushed to death by this minotaur, and then gets uh gets uh gets uh it turns a little gold dust, which means that she's fine, she'll just go down to the underground.

SPEAKER_01 32:23

And and Percy's given something he loves using, and I assume this is Percy's thing for all of the books and all the movies, and that's a pen that becomes a sword.

SPEAKER_02 32:32

Because the pen's mightier than the sword.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

Yeah, I thought this was lame. Isn't that great? I thought it was really lame. Isn't that real? And I think as a kid I would have rolled my eyes.

SPEAKER_02 32:39

No, no, no. As a kid, I went, wow, I could I have a pen, you know. Would have rather the wand. I would have I would have killed for a wand. I would have killed for a wand. Well, but you also get some shield and you got some shoes to fly, you know?

SPEAKER_01 32:53

None of this is good. Actually, I love the shoes. Okay, actually, yeah, put a pin in it, love the shoes. That was the one thing where I went, oh, I as a kid, I would love to have the.

SPEAKER_02 33:03

I think I bought Converse because of that, you know. I did not buy a broom because that was cleaning, you know, that's for a freaking cleaning. That was silly.

SPEAKER_01 33:10

It's very silly. I was never, I was never into Quidditch. Again, that made no sense. Yeah. 150 points. You know, JK, you're insane. They're just giving out points like it's like it's whose line is it anyway?

SPEAKER_02 33:20

I feel like you should lose one of the uh the I think they're called the quaffers or the qualers. People that smack the thing. Or the bludgers? Yeah, that smack the bodies. Or a beater. The beater. I think that I think I can't remember. There's too many, there's too many, there's too many people. Those two Golden Snitch people. I don't know what the rules are, you know.

SPEAKER_01 33:35

JK was like, we want there's 12 people on either team. Yeah. None of them have like not all everyone gets a position. Some of them for fun.

SPEAKER_02 33:42

I thought it was crazy you could fly through the stalls.

SPEAKER_01 33:46

It's weird you can leave. Yeah. I don't think fucking sue me, but I don't think the game should be allowed to leave.

SPEAKER_02 33:52

I also think horrid views, because it's in terms of just you selling tickets, yeah. Be like, oh, this is a great A seating, but by the way, there's a good chance game's behind you.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

You need a floating camera. Yeah, absolutely. It's nuts that you would have to pay for a front row ticket when the whole game happens, maybe up in the sky in the rain. They shouldn't be playing in the rain either. No, it should get called off. I need to be able to see. I'm sorry, but you're not gonna play AFL in the fog.

SPEAKER_02 34:18

Okay, yeah, cool. Full fog up there, great. What a whole shit.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

Yeah, you know. It's bullshit. Yeah. I'm never paying a fucking ticket for quitting.

SPEAKER_02 34:27

I just think there'd be better game. I feel like just soccer with magic would be better, you know?

SPEAKER_01 34:31

Anything. Yeah. Absolutely. And just tennis with magic, sure. Even just your tennis rackets and wand, you know, that'd be kind of fun. I think with magic existing, you there's no need for sport. Any other concept's more fun. You could just have it's a 1v1, and the game is simply you see people conjure up more and more random shit until one of them goes out of ideas.

SPEAKER_02 34:51

It is odd there isn't just like a duel, a fun dueling.

SPEAKER_01 34:54

Yes, you know, there should be competitive dueling like fencing. Yeah. That's lame though. No, but yeah, but one of them gets killed. Yeah. Oh, that's better. That's better. It should be to the death. Yeah. There should be more like cock fighting and magic. There should be.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

It's crazy they don't get like some some some poor children, you know, the one that the public school version of Hogwarts and fight them to the death.

SPEAKER_01 35:14

Absolutely. Yeah. I would have totally been in that camp. They would have been like, oh my god, you're so evil. And I'm like, yeah, but it's fun. Yeah. You know, under your regime, there's quidditch. Yeah, a Varda Kadabra, you know. If they didn't want us to use it, they wouldn't have made it so easy to pronounce.

SPEAKER_02 35:29

It's crazy. It's crazy that's like you could like it feels like I we shouldn't all know the word. It's crazy they all know the word. Yeah. You know? It should be locked behind something. It's uh to the point that I would almost have some gun reform in terms of like in the Harry Potter world, you know.

SPEAKER_01 35:48

Like nuts to make the like humans.

SPEAKER_02 35:51

Why would they give them so close to the killing curse? It just feels yeah, it feels crazy. It's like telling, like, you know, it feels like you know, the muggles knowing like the n-word, but slightly a gel. Yes. You know, like why would you why would you be so close? You know, don't do that.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

You know, I think the killing curse should maybe be 40 words. Yeah. I think it should be a real paragraph to learn.

SPEAKER_02 36:09

A little tongue twisting, you know?

SPEAKER_01 36:11

Should be should be really tough. And then if you fuck it up a little bit, it it it you know, selling fun happens.

SPEAKER_02 36:16

Yeah, you get turned into freaking you eat slugs, you know, it's fun, it's fun. Um not here though. There's pen is I don't remember.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

This is I know that we went off topic. This pen fucking sucks. And you can't convince me it's good. Just have a sword. Like, I'm not like just sheaf your sword. They clearly just don't want him running around with a sword. Yeah. I think that's the other thing is uh their uniform sucks as well. Why do they play Capture the Flag? For a while. That was dull. Very dull. That was and water heals him. It's all bullshit. Yeah. I'm sorry. That's a bit horse. It's just not for me. It's not for me, it's not for me.

SPEAKER_02 36:53

And I feel like at this point, I feel like Hades pops in and goes, Hey, give me the lightning bolt, and come to hell, come to hell, and then I'll give you a mum. And at this point, I'm just like, what have we been doing here, you know? Capture flaggers for ages, and it's just it involves nothing.

SPEAKER_01 37:10

It's only to really develop the Dario, and yet she's not developed in it at all. No. They go, She's the best fighter, which is why I don't think they do a good job at when they decide to go on the adventure.

SPEAKER_02 37:22

I remember really liking her character in the books because she is almost like she's the daughter of Athena? Yes. I remember her being almost like a quite a fighting version of Hermione. Yeah. Like quite like she's the best fighter and almost uses that like mentality and just how she thinks. Yeah. Which I think is quite interesting. This one's nothing. She does a lot of wire work again to jump into frame.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

It's a lot of wire food. It's good, a lot, good wire. Why are there so many wires in this? What year was this? 2012, I think. Christopher Columbus just watched Matrix for the first time. Like, really late.

SPEAKER_02 38:02

2010. I guess they were like, fuck, we just saw Avatar. Do we have the time to make 3D technology? No, alright. Wires. It's way cheaper.

SPEAKER_01 38:10

You know, James Cameron almost did Avatar with Wires. So that must that technology must be pretty close. Pretty close. The Navi would look stunning in Wires. I think some of the effects are quite good, and I like the design of Hades. That's what I'll say. As Steve Coogan's costume or when when he goes into his big CGI form, I was went, oh, that design sort of holds up. There's moments where I go, I think this is age, but for 2010, I think some of it's holding up pretty good.

SPEAKER_02 38:36

Yes, I think so. I think so. Yeah. I'm not I'm not a I'm not I'm not gonna rave. Yeah. Buddy, I'm not gonna rave about it. It's a two and a half out of five, but hey, that's a passing grade. On effects? Yeah. Yeah. Less. Yeah, when they're like, we've got Hades, you're like, I don't don't do the whole, don't do all of hell. Yeah. Maybe just have a little corner of it, you know?

SPEAKER_01 38:57

Yeah, maybe when they reveal the snakes on the head, I went, I mean, there's not snakes there.

SPEAKER_02 39:01

Look, no, like no. Look, okay, so here's the plan. We need to go to hell. We need to get three pearls.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

Oh, so I thought this was a silly conceit as well.

SPEAKER_02 39:11

It's a crazy conceit. We need three pearls to get to hell, and then we save the mum. The big twist at the end is they needed four pearls because, of course. And I think this does happen in the book. But you think you'd think someone would think you'd think anybody would would comprehend.

SPEAKER_01 39:26

Yeah. Unless, and I'm not, I'm gonna put it out there, they all thought Grover would stay behind. Like, just from the get-go.

SPEAKER_02 39:32

He's kind of got this vibe of just like, and now I'm your servant, and it feels wrong.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

It's absolutely not right, but you can tell behind the scenes they've gone, I think Grover had volunteered.

unknown 39:42

So I just don't think we need to get that fourth line.

SPEAKER_01 39:44

Do we really need to go on a floor?

SPEAKER_02 39:45

Where is it? It's in Spain. Oh we're sort of an American center.

SPEAKER_01 39:51

It's actually just in a vending machine. It's not even that far out of our way. Oh, I just don't I just don't think we should. It's it's it's tough. Do we've got money for fuel?

SPEAKER_02 40:00

You gotta get you gotta eat the five uh plates of Tabath and you get the pearl. Seems like a lot of effort.

SPEAKER_01 40:06

It's just it seems tough.

SPEAKER_02 40:08

It seems easier.

SPEAKER_01 40:09

See Crober got a lot of our money burned. I think he just deserves to suffer for that.

SPEAKER_02 40:13

Look, the pl planes are pretty expensive, though. We don't want to we don't wanna that's four, that's three, I'll three a bit more on it.

SPEAKER_01 40:19

No, I've actually got enough frequent flies to just get us all business. It's just not lining up.

SPEAKER_02 40:23

Yeah, just not that. I won't premium economy, maybe, but I'm not he's he's a fucking goat. You know, he's gonna stink like shit. I'm not fucking doing that.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

I think when you look at let's let's go through the journey they go on. Yeah. So they go to Medusa's place, which she owns sort of a garden store. Yeah. Uh which is fun.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

It is fun. But I don't know if it's cool. I guess I guess I guess you need to because I guess the whole thing is like everyday items are Greek mythology. Cool idea, yeah. Because you just need to also need statues, right? Uh also, real quickly, Uma Furman is giving, dare I say, both the worst and best performance. I really couldn't. I'm so glad that you said I really don't I don't know where to place it. Sometimes it's dog shit, but then sometimes she like moves the snakes, pull her away, and she kind of gives it uh all. I love that. But it is the worst thing I've ever seen.

SPEAKER_01 41:16

I think her performance was shot over two days, and on the second day after she saw the dailies, she said, I've got to step it up. But they used scenes from both. That's what it felt like. A hundred percent exactly what it felt like. 100%.

SPEAKER_02 41:29

And I will say as well, this uh lady who's essentially um turned into stone. Oh, give me the book, giving everything left to the point that I'm you're definitely right. Um went, ooh, that lady is out acting the entire cast. We all need to pack up our game. And I think at this point everyone kind of goes, yeah, we Percy picks herself up, you know, a bit.

SPEAKER_01 41:50

That glorified extra did better than the poster child of pulp fiction in the scene. We have to, you've got to step it up. She shed real tears. I couldn't believe the amount of negging that character got when she gets turned to stone and she grips her, and later Dedario's like, that chick that died earlier really got me. Where's your remorse?

unknown 42:16

Nobody cares.

SPEAKER_02 42:17

They re don't care, and it's it's really upsetting because she was like, My husband's gone like in tears. So frightening.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

Shut up. I would dare say her performance is so good that I think it undersells Uma Thurman because you expect something more frightening. She's selling like a more horrific scene than what we end up getting. I'd like that's how good she is in the sequence.

SPEAKER_02 42:43

Like, sort of comes in, you're like, fuck, I am now on edge. And I feel like it there's no tension. There's not I think it's crazy, it's well lit, you know, the whole thing. It's crazy, it's like in just daytime in a nursery.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

Well, this is the best time to do it. Yeah. No atmosphere. At least do like a rainy day.

SPEAKER_02 43:00

Yeah, a bit gloomy or something, or just put a roof on it. Like make it a greenhouse, you know.

SPEAKER_01 43:05

Why she should have just way more. Way more dead.

SPEAKER_02 43:08

It felt very clean. It felt it's crazy, it's not like just a sea of statues.

SPEAKER_01 43:13

Yes, there should be thousands. But there's about five. You'd think she would also just there'd be a bunch of FBI that are statues. Because everyone would go, there's a near Zodiac style killer that if you go to her nursery, yeah, you die. Yeah. And we can track everybody to there.

SPEAKER_02 43:31

But no.

SPEAKER_01 43:32

But no.

SPEAKER_02 43:33

It is iconic. I really do think this is iconic. The iPod uh back, I I don't know if it's in the trailer or if it's just been a loved moment uh in cinema.

SPEAKER_01 43:42

Steve Jobs' favorite moment in cinema.

SPEAKER_02 43:44

People say that. People say that. I'm pretty sure he died the day after this film.

SPEAKER_01 43:49

Yeah, they cover this whole scene in jobs.

SPEAKER_02 43:51

Yeah, good. Seth Rogan radio, I think, would chew this. This this pretty much.

SPEAKER_01 43:56

Yeah. Or is it the Aston Kutcher one? I think Jobs is the Ashton Kutcher one. Is it just called Steve? Is the Aaron Sorker one called Steve?

SPEAKER_02 44:06

No, no, no. It's Mr. Macintosh, I believe, is what they what they call it.

SPEAKER_01 44:10

It's called Apple Bye. Um, no, using the back of an eye of an iPod touch to to like kill Medusa to outsmart her.

SPEAKER_02 44:21

It's a very gen Z, like you you guys, you know, they're either using a mirror. This one, an iPod. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. But you fucking get around it, and that's what we're all about. This author gets kids. Yeah. He gets kids. Precisely, precisely. Uh so that's our first pearl, okay? And then I read- And so why does she have a pearl?

unknown 44:41

Look.

SPEAKER_02 44:42

Shut up. Shut up the fuck up. Okay? Get out of here. It's Medusa. She's fucking around. It's good to have her.

SPEAKER_01 44:48

The pearls are always just around, too. Like at the casino, it's just a gambling pearl. Yeah, yeah. They go, oh thank god, it's just there.

SPEAKER_02 44:56

Why would it be just there? So it's there. So it's there. Now we also go to uh the National Museum. I have no idea at one point they're in a motel. I couldn't care less. They essentially they take Medusa's head. Yeah. They go to the National Museum of in Washington.

SPEAKER_01 45:12

Um tell you what, that was a weird, that was a weird scene when they get kicked out of the hotel. Yeah. She saw the head. Yeah. Would have cut that.

SPEAKER_02 45:20

It it feels cutable. But I think they went, it's a lot of it's too quick us getting too many pearls. It almost feels too easy. So we probably should have stretched it out with this motel shenanigans.

SPEAKER_01 45:30

I just think unless they decide to say that there's going to be more hotel in it, cut it.

SPEAKER_02 45:36

Just cut it. But yeah, we go over to the National Museum. I think this is by far just a boring. Because essentially they're like, it's up there on the big statue. And again, you look at all the wires on the ceiling and went, they're gonna do some fucking wire shit. They go, right, well, wait until the end of the day. Why? Just go up there and grab it.

SPEAKER_01 45:54

Just go now. Or arrive at the end of the day. Yeah. You can give the conceit. I don't care enough. Yeah. You've lost me already. Yeah. The director should be going by now. We've lost the audience. So we can do whatever we want. Pat in. We'll fade in. We've lost them. They've stopped caring, which means we can just up the pacing.

SPEAKER_02 46:17

Logan, I've got you on a single wire. I'm gonna do myself. I'm just gonna fucking yank you up there with a film it and see what happens, you know? Or chuck something in there. I don't care.

SPEAKER_01 46:26

You don't even need to remember your lines. It's fine. You can respond to Logan too. We're not we're gonna stop to Grover's legs as well. Nobody will care.

SPEAKER_02 46:38

Nobody gives a shit. Kilver's hydra, I don't give a shit, is some of the worst lines of like Percy, why'd you kill him? Don't you know if you cut a head off, it cuts two, and then there's two. And then he uses water again to fix it. I don't care.

SPEAKER_01 46:51

You can't use water for everything.

SPEAKER_02 46:53

It's the fucking Poseidon's son, you know. It's all freaking well, it's the well he goes to, you know, wink wink.

SPEAKER_01 46:59

That's what's annoying about this movie, and see a monsters. Get this fucker to the desert. Put him somewhere where he's not gonna thrive. Yeah, you'd think hell would be tough for him, but no, he's kind of just now there's water that they're all thirsty down there. It's just ridiculous.

SPEAKER_02 47:12

Now, Carl, even though the Hydra stuff has been very bland, at least we do get now to the best scene of the whole thing.

SPEAKER_01 47:18

The Vegas scene? The casino, precisely. I loved it too, because how often do you get a French Connection reference?

SPEAKER_02 47:27

It's it's as a kid, I remember it being more and I guess I just thought it was a movie.

SPEAKER_01 47:32

Yeah. Um why would Percy have seen French Connection? I don't know. A 14-year-old scene. So I love that Gene picture. It has one of the best car chasers ever. Oh, are you a cinophile?

SPEAKER_02 47:47

No. God, I mean, I've seen all the palm of yours, and that was really up there, you know. It really deserved it.

SPEAKER_01 47:53

It's like the equivalent of they rock up and it's just like, oh, the triangle, a sadness pinball machine. Oh my god, the oh boy, the artist, you know.

SPEAKER_02 48:08

I just wanted to, I just honestly, and then extremely loud and incredibly close. Oh boy, the Amor one. They got a more wow, so many Michael and Wow, the Mike Lee pool table. Okay, I like it.

SPEAKER_01 48:28

Oh no, they've got the white ribbon here, too.

SPEAKER_02 48:31

Fuck off. Red, blue, yellow, red, red, white, blue, red, white, blue. Um, it's an odd casino filled with just art house cinema. Art house cinema, art house cinema arcade. It's very powerful stuff, it's good stuff.

SPEAKER_01 48:47

Just it was just really odd to see them play the come and see pinball machine for so long.

SPEAKER_02 48:55

And Percy just knew them all. He's like, he got leatherboxes up, oh, and then the turn says, What's that? Is that a phone? Boom.

SPEAKER_01 49:03

Um, this guy going, This is my favorite movie of the year. Yeah. Which is a weird thing to say to a random.

SPEAKER_02 49:09

It is the oddest. He says it so strange. He goes, Hey, you playing the French Connection pinball game? I am playing the French Connection pinball game. I love that movie. From this year, what year you ask? 1971.

SPEAKER_01 49:23

My favorite film in 1971. Here are my others. It's my top four on Letterboxd to you.

SPEAKER_02 49:29

It was a good year. It was a good year. It's a great year. Great year for pinball. Uh look, and Lady Garga has been playing it this whole time as well. So that's just so you guys, the audience, can know what you guys are missing out on.

SPEAKER_01 49:39

That guy should be freaking out about where music is.

SPEAKER_02 49:44

Dude, check out hyper pop and he just dies.

SPEAKER_01 49:48

Just brats playing? Yeah. Are you having a brat summer? It's winter. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:54

I love brat summer this year.

SPEAKER_01 49:56

Guys, we've been here for two years. We've been here for two years. What do you mean? Lennon just joined the Beatles. Just it should be 40 minutes of those references. I would have loved it. Um, I enjoyed this because obviously the lotus flower just featured in the Odyssey. It did.

SPEAKER_02 50:13

So I was like, woo! I was reminded of there's a sequence in the Odyssey where Matt Damon is crumbs on his face, eating so many lotuses, just like, I can't eat more lotus. He's like, eat the lotus. I can't I know I'm gonna re-watch it again, but I remember that being a real fun sequence.

SPEAKER_01 50:29

He has a point. My favorite part is actually that in that sequence where he goes, he goes, I've decided to stay. I'm happy here. I'll keep eating the lotus, and me and you will just fuck forever. Yeah, fuck it.

SPEAKER_02 50:43

Did you see that there was an article of like the person who did like the translation for the Odyssey? Yeah. Um that was just like the food look like dog shit and they barely fucked. It's a shit film. And Chris have an old should be ashamed. It's just good stuff.

SPEAKER_01 51:00

It's just it's great stuff. It's just great stuff.

SPEAKER_02 51:03

It's nice that I I like that just a bunch of losers who have been like, I've been studying Greek mythology my whole life, and now I've come out of the woodwork and been like, you guys are idiots for liking this. You're fucking morphs. He made it accessible. Boo. It's nice because no one's right. You know, it's nice. It's good. It's just good. We're all lame, you know. It's 3,000 years old. Get a new thing.

SPEAKER_01 51:28

Um, so we get the whole um we get the whole Vegas sequence. I love when they're leaving the Vegas sequence because they're just pushing people over that aren't getting involved in the fight.

SPEAKER_02 51:39

It's cruel.

SPEAKER_01 51:40

Didari punches someone in the face that's standing still.

SPEAKER_02 51:44

Someone's at the craps table and it's just like, ah! Goes for the nuts.

SPEAKER_01 51:48

Trying to incite it. Grover's been fucking he's like, me and eight of these women are about to marry. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:54

Does he have a goat cock? I don't know, you know.

SPEAKER_01 51:57

I want to know where does it where does it begin? Where does it end? Precisely. I like I reckon. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:02

Yeah. Yeah. I've never seen a goat cock. That's my uh cross to bear. Uh, but I assume quite revolting.

SPEAKER_01 52:09

If you've seen one or know the answer, please email us wwtpodcast at gmail.com. We'll accept pictures. I'd like to know where. Because if like, does he still have a sex drive? Like, where's his testosterone? Like, what's the go with this? What's the go with this guy?

SPEAKER_02 52:25

I think I think goats have to testosterone.

SPEAKER_01 52:27

Does he make his own cheese?

SPEAKER_02 52:28

Um, I don't think he has udders because he's But how do we know he's a male goat halfway?

SPEAKER_01 52:34

What if he's a what if he's a female goat halfway down?

SPEAKER_02 52:37

That's true, actually. Yeah. I mean, did he have do goats have udders? I wow, I really don't know anything about it. I don't know anything about a goat. I don't think I've met a goat. I'll be honest. I'll be honest, I remember there was one year everyone's like, we're having goat cheese, and I was like, that's kind of gross. And then I feel like people are like, nah, it's fancy now. And everyone, shit. But goat is disgusting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:56

The fact we're we've normalized eating cheese out of a goat, yeah, that's against like kind of revolting saying that though.

SPEAKER_02 53:03

I've had a goat curry the other day. Oh my god, stunning. They're a great animal.

SPEAKER_01 53:06

We had that great goat uh taco that one time as well. That was so good. Yeah, that was really good. Yeah, maybe goats are good. I just I just go you know what? Is goat the best animal?

SPEAKER_02 53:17

Yeah, I mean, I just don't want to- Is it goated?

SPEAKER_01 53:19

There's a goat goated.

SPEAKER_02 53:20

We've got it. Email us at us wwg podcast at gmail.com. Uh they leave us. I think they shut down Vegas. Look at them driving around. I was over the moon. How fun's that, you know? Because the film has not been great. I've not been loving it, but I was like, oh, you guys just shut down the well they're at Circus Circus, right?

SPEAKER_01 53:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:39

That is the lowest place.

SPEAKER_01 53:40

Yeah, that was yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02 53:41

I think so.

SPEAKER_01 53:42

Yeah, because they had all the lights. Oscar and I and a few friends spent so much money at Circus Circus because it was the cheapest fucking casino.

SPEAKER_02 53:50

And I think had the vibe of what I wanted because I feel like grungy, crappy. All the ones are a bit too corporate. Yes. Uh, and and and we're just like, you're gonna lose your money here. But this one felt like, look, we're losing money too. So it's actually it's fair.

SPEAKER_01 54:03

This was the proper one as well, where somebody would come around and go, What do you want to drink? Yeah. You could just be like, get us like four gin like token rums.

SPEAKER_02 54:09

And we tipped them like 20 bucks, and they're just like, Great, he's great. We'll just keep giving them to you guys. There's essentially a bottle of vodka in a cup. I couldn't believe it.

SPEAKER_01 54:17

It was so we were treated like kings, and then you know what? We won craps a shit ton. Yeah. They say you go can't go to Vegas and leave up, but we left up.

SPEAKER_02 54:24

Yeah, and we tell everyone, you know, we didn't stay in Vegas. We tell everyone we tell everyone. Yeah, it's good.

SPEAKER_01 54:29

Um, these guys go to the Hollywood sign. Yeah. Lame. This was lame. They they talk to the they talk to the boatman. Yeah. He accepts coins, not cash. Yeah. Lame.

SPEAKER_02 54:43

Again, again, Grover is given like a minute, just sort of. I think recession does. I think there's a really good recession. Grove, like, come on, man, we're in a recession. And again, no one's giving him anything. So I'm just like, oh, are you not landing? I'm kind of trying, you know, you've got to be brave and laugh when when people are trying something in that. Absolutely. And this movie's a big attestment to it.

SPEAKER_01 55:02

I just think if I was actually in the scene with Grova, in real, like, say the movie's happening for real, I'm on this adventure. He makes that joke. I compliment that joke. Somebody needs to acknowledge just having fun on the street.

SPEAKER_02 55:17

I feel like if we were on the boat and Percy went, hey man, that recession joke, really good. That that took my pink. While we're sailing through hell, immediately these three have a kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 55:26

Absolutely. And then she leans forward and is like, I liked it too. Yeah. That the fact they'd have a bonding moment for a hot sex.

SPEAKER_02 55:32

Yeah, what do I think of the boatman? Do we like him? I would have just liked some a bit of, you know, friend little three, you know.

SPEAKER_01 55:39

I I think most. Yeah, I I just feel like most of this movie's really miscast. I just think it's I don't know if anyone's doing like a like a really fantastic job.

SPEAKER_02 55:48

No, I can't think of anyone. I think Grover is just giving anything and everyone else. Piers Brosnan, I think, is more impressive.

SPEAKER_01 55:57

I wish how small his role was.

SPEAKER_02 55:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:00

I thought he I from memory thought he was in the movie.

SPEAKER_02 56:02

If I remember correctly, I uh he he would have had more of a role for he's kind of the mentor for Fire of the World. Yeah, it's like the Dumbledore, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:10

Does he die eventually?

SPEAKER_02 56:11

I think he probably does. Yeah, I think he probably does. Yeah. Crushing. He's he's more, he's more like the Professor Potts, I'd say.

SPEAKER_01 56:18

The one that's who's megodical to you.

SPEAKER_02 56:22

Uh well, that's gotta be Zeus Baby.

SPEAKER_01 56:25

We get to hell, we get a bit of Steve Coogan. Yeah, he's doing whatever. Yeah. Um, I'm happy to brush over it. This is all this all happens really quickly. He's like, here's your mum. Yeah. One of you's gotta stay. Grover goes, yeah, I'll do it. They go, That's what we saw would happen. Yeah, thank you. No, Grover, no. Okay, bam! Mom, run!

SPEAKER_02 56:44

We're up, we're up in Olympus. Uh-oh, actually, sorry, the state. The state of origin, the state the Empire State Building. We're up there. Our boy Luke is like, hey, it was me that took the lightning.

SPEAKER_01 56:58

He has my favorite line, which is you weren't meant to make it out alive. I can't let you take that bolt to Olympus. I'm the lightning thief. Yeah. Rough. Actual fucking rough line. It's a rough thing to not trust people know that he's the lightning thief.

SPEAKER_02 57:16

Yeah, it's pretty. I think honestly, go through the like if you read their script, I mean, it's just dog shit. It's horrible, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 57:23

It makes you wonder, it was Steve Knowles, like the guy that adapted Harry Potter, is like just he the big hero of that franchise.

SPEAKER_02 57:31

I think so. That I remember that like that one adapting. Because that 240 is, I think, stretching it. And they really do. It feels well paced. It just feels well paced. This one feels like they're like, okay, a lot of bad adaptations do. They go, right, what's the key scenes? Yeah. Film those. I don't care about the connecting tissue. Yeah. Like, this is horrible.

SPEAKER_01 57:50

Um, yeah, so I just think this is like a poor adaptation when it comes to the writing of it. I think no like everyone's underdeveloped. Uh yeah, and I think it's really lacking a villain. Because this kid reason his head as the villain, but we saw him for two scenes. Yeah. Once it captured the flag.

SPEAKER_02 58:05

He's playing card for a bit. Wasn't that fun? Call of Duty. Uh, and yeah, his final fight is lame. Yeah. And again, he just has water on his side.

SPEAKER_01 58:16

The luck of landing near not one, not two, not three, not four, but five water tanks in New York. Yeah. That does that can't be real. Can it?

SPEAKER_02 58:30

It's very odd. And to the point I he's like, I'm gonna get you. And the poser goes, wait. And water tanks, believe it or not, a bit of time. Like he's like he's got the power of water, but it's definitely slower than you think. He goes, Ooh, it's coming at you. You probably got 20 seconds. And and Luke just sits there. Good for him.

SPEAKER_01 58:49

Yeah, Luke goes, I'm gonna take it. You've bested me.

SPEAKER_02 58:53

I fell into your trap, and thus I will stand still for you. It's he gets defeated. They go up to Olympus. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:00

I liked how giant everybody was. I mean, the force like the perspective here that they do uh does not look real. No. Um but I love I love what they're trying. This is the sequence where I went, Oh, I love that we got to see the council. I definitely had never seen it before because I hadn't seen them all arguing and chatting. I love seeing that sort of stuff. So I actually really did like this sort of this moment. But Zeus was sort of acting the way I do remember Zeus being, which is I'm a bit of an arsehole, I'll be fair to you this one time. Yes, like go away now. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 59:34

Uh which I remember being like quite funny, the book. Like Percy's like, I've done all this stuff, I got your lightning. Like, what do you think? He's like, good, fuck off. He's like, what about grover? Like I think he grovels for Grover. He's kind of like, I'm not happy about this, but your father said I had to, so fuck off, essentially. Um, which is good. I guess they didn't want that for the final ending because it does feel a bit misconnect, like it does feel a bit unearned, but it is like that, it feels real to the gods, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:03

I think there is there doesn't feel like to be a big climax here where all the things he sort of learnt along the way come together, or that this trip needed to have happened the way it happened for him to be able to win at the end.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:18

I think it's also playing like, look, he's reunited with his father, and his father's I again, I I I feel like I remember him being like, Alright, see ya, I don't really care. So move on.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:30

I looked at Zarya going, hi mum. That was that was a big moment for her. It was huge. Her getting to see her mom, that was a big moment for her. Yeah, yeah. So it was pretty, pretty happy. Pretty magical, pretty magical. Yeah. Uh and then I guess he goes to live at camp. Now is camp on all year, or is there does that ever take break? Couldn't tell you.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:51

Couldn't tell you if it's a summer school thing, couldn't tell you if it's sort of working off a nine-month sort of thing, couldn't tell you if this is just where you live now. Um, either way, I think. Look, it's nice that he likes water because this is a shithole. Yeah. Pretty big shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:05

She gets back and goes, guys, I was I worked out the mystery of the lightning thief, and I met Zeus and blah blah blah blah blah, and they're like, Yeah, there's a cleanup over there behind the Hades place. Been waiting for you to get back uh big clog.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:18

We kept pouring water on it, so it's ready. It's pretty messy right there. Pretty moist.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:23

You could take this literally, it's a shit ton. Take it literally. Um, but yeah, and I don't wanna I don't want to put like a time limit on it, but it's been bacon. It's been bacon as well.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:34

Like whatever cats you are, it's like a little Saturn. Like a little goat guy just like, uh yeah, you gotta get that stuff. Also, we didn't really talk about it, but there's definitely racism in this world. Yeah, and I couldn't tell if it was like literally like race-based or if it was like you know, creature.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:49

Like it was like Yeah, there was just a that people don't respect, I think, like half halflings or half animal, half it was odd. I also thought it was odd that Pierce Bros. Just as an aside.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:04

I just thought it was odd. I think it's sort of be like, look, he's not in a wheelchair, but then what the hell is this? What is this?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:09

I would go this is weird.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:10

Yeah, it's a run club, but it's odd. It's it's sinister.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:13

Yeah, and and now he's a weird height. Why can't he be a pony?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:22

Carl, who would watch Percy Jackson?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:24

And the lightning thief! I think this is for I think you would probably rally around this if you are in a Greek mapology and you are kidding like I think it's probably fine for you. It's probably exactly what you're trying to make it for. Yeah. I think you'd fall out of love with it pretty quickly. I can foresee people rewatching this and going, Yeah. That's not for me. But I think there is an itch it sort of scratches. But it is just so dull. And it is really repetitive. And I don't think there's a lot of character arcs or anything that's a sustain of its length. Uh or it's a really justify a sequel. Uh so I think, yeah, if you're into Greek mythology in your 12, sure, yeah. This is for you.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:08

I remember it's making quite a bit of money. I feel like it's made a lot of money. They're like, okay, alright. And then the second one just bombed, if I remember correctly.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:16

Well, you can't, it's so hard to make a sequel off of uh of a poorly reviewed movie. Yeah. You know, it really needs to make a fuck ton of money for you to be able to take that risk. Yeah, I know. Isn't it like like maybe 300 or 250?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:31

So it cost 95? It made 200, you know, and 20.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:34

So barely, barely broke even. Yeah. Uh Oscar, who would watch Percy Jackson and the Lightning film?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:39

I feel like, um, and I again it was I was after essentially, I was like, hmm, I need someone to summarize this film in uh like two hours, then you've got it. Because it feels like a Wikipedia one. It feels like a biography f film, but for Percy Jackson, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:57

Yeah, the cliff notes of a Percy Jackson book.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:59

Yes. So I guess if you're trying to get it sweet it in, but uh yeah, I guess if you're trying I I feel like what was the last film we just watched? I keep forgetting this name. It's not Clash of the Titans. Yeah, Clash of the Titans. Oh my god, I nailed it, chuffed. I feel like this is, I guess, uh a bit of an entry point for you, but now that that uh Disney Plus show is out. Yeah, what's the point of this?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:19

Yes. Unless is the Disney Plus show well received? Also, it costs them a lot of money.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:25

Yeah, and I think also they're like, it's Harry Potter. Like those books have done I couldn't believe how much how well they've sold. Yeah. And they've not really had the cultural impact really to break even. I feel the funniest thing will be if that show then gets cancelled. Yeah, after three seasons. Yeah, so just this has yet to finish, you know?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:46

When it is a podcast, it will get to four. I'm telling you, it's gonna get to four.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:51

Podcast of four, and then once the radio play, it'll get five and finish. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:55

Imagine if it turns out West End is where they get the whole, they get to do it all on West End. Once a year, they put on a show.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:02

Five seasons wrapped into a couple hours. God, the songs are good. Uh Carl's Percy Jackson, the Lightning Thief. Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. Next week, Pussy Jackson.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:12

Yeah, we'll do see a monsters, but I'm not super happy about it.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:15

And yet it's it's Greek mythology month. Yeah. So we can't not.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:19

And I guess we did. I guess we did in 2012. And that, you know, is like at the length of one and a half Percy Jackson.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:29

Precisely, precisely. I've been bullied.